How To Deal With Listening As An Over-Thinker
The thing about over-thinking that makes it really sticky is that the act of overthinking itself is not compatible with a lot of things that are good for us. Over-thinking is a really overpowering, controlling, and consuming thing to experience. When it comes to listening and overthinking, the two are almost on the polar opposite sides of processing information.
Overthinking controls and listening creates freedom. Overthinking floods and listening is still. Overthinking is chaotic and listening is calm. When we overthink I believe it ties into to the act of hearing over listening. With over-thinking there’s so much going on internally that when we’re taking in the outside world it really goes in one ear and out the other, and that is not the case with listening.
Over-thinking is a good starting point to draw in ideas quickly, but it’s when there’s a lack of balance that it gets to the point where it is controlling and chaotic. The kick start of an over-thinking expedition, mixed in with listening can create some real magic. It just takes a reframe because they are so vastly different.
Listening is active, hearing/overthinking is passive. That’s why listening holds so much weight to your well being because it’s intentional, there can be a filter applied to a direct decision to accept or reject an idea, thought, or something you’re told. We hear so much all day everyday both internally and externally, but to really listen is at your own discretion. When you listen you hold the key, when you only hear, the world around you holds the key for you.
When you hold the key, you unlock the power to listen to yourself first. When you listen to yourself first it’s enthralling to see the things about yourself you’ll start to believe. When you get to actively participate in what you’re telling yourself, you’ll begin to watch yourself leave behind what you don’t connect with and really step into what you do. You’ll connect with a protective part of you that rejects things that simply aren’t true. You’ll connect with compassion because it feels good, you’ll connect with more experiences because you’re experiencing yourself, you’ll feel deeply because you’re in touch with that part of you. When you’re in an active state you can actively feel and see all that you are.
When I catch myself overthinking instead of listening it really feels like this: When I am in my over-thinking spiral not listening to anything, I find that I attach to my fears. I worry about what I’m doing, I become really rigid, and feel myself hesitating on things that I do want to do. Similarly to hearing and overthinking, telling is another piece of the listening concept that works against you. Telling comes from the outside, listening comes from the inside. I’m telling myself I need to make things more complicated, I’m telling myself this idea won’t work, I’m telling myself so many people have already done what I want to do, I’m telling myself I need more ideas first before I put myself out there, I’m telling myself so many things that it’s weighing me down.
I’m not listening to the voice that’s creating so much for my dreams so far, I’m not listening to the voice that’s telling me I can have all my dreams, I’m not listening to the voice that’s given me all the ideas i’m executing, I’m not listening to the voice that gives me new ideas. And I should be, because this voice is in a state of active creation and expansion, so the only thing its saying will bring things into the world. While the other voice is gripping to what you’ve always known and fuels on fear and regression. And if you’re not listening, it’s natural to attach to a voice you’ve been passively claiming as your own inner voice disguised as fear for quite some time.
I think in anything there will always be two voices-one leading you forward and one leading you back. The in between is just being stagnant, but in creation-something is quite literally being brought to life, and to add to this life you have to make a choice about which voice to listen to. The one that brings life or the one stuck in fear. Equal things can grow from both, but they grow and evolve into immeasurably different things.
The life giving voice is less noticeable. It’s quiet because it places the next step in from of you without saying a word, it lets you fill in the pieces with how you really feel about the idea and your pure energy takes over. It’s less about words/talking at all and more about the connection to what your body is telling you and trusting that feeling. The fear voice is loud but will disguise itself as looking out for you-pointing out barriers and reasons to stay comfortable.
The creation voice doesn’t say much but lets your energy, feelings, and actions line up for the next step in order to hear it again. It encourages doing, which instills a confidence that doesn’t need any voice at all because it’s a feeling of confidence itself that can only be felt and can only come from a life source.
I think listening creates an environment to feel without thoughts. Thoughts are necessary of course, but how we really feel tells us so much more than we give credit to and focus on . There are several modalities of information in which we can give ourselves access to in order to discover what we need, what’s for us, and what needs to change. And to no surprise overthinking is one part of this communication with ourselves, but when it intensely overshadows the rest of the avenues of communication, that’s when it no longer becomes a part of your toolbox, but occupies every space where other ways of speaking to ourselves aren’t able to shine.
When we are able to listen without thoughts, we hear something much deeper. We hear sensations, we hear the power of silence, we hear the steadiness in slowness, we feel the groundedness of stillness, and ironically we do eventually hear a voice in the midst of the process of listening, and it will be the life giving voice instead of the fearful voice we are used to. The difference in this voice and our typical voice that’s constantly thinking, is this one is quiet. This voice is commanding in a way that we really listen to what it’s saying, because it speaks in truth, conviction, and in power of yourself.
It’s a voice we can only hear through stillness and through the calmness of our bodies. This is where compassion lives, new ideas live, and new ways of thinking. When we give ourselves the gift of turning off the repetitive overthinking voice for a while, we can let our true inner voice come through. She is quiet because she speaks for purpose, not just to talk. She is quiet because she knows the power of the words she has to say will be felt. She is quiet because she knows that until there’s a break in silence, the words aren’t ready to be heard and can be saved until the timing is right.
With listening, we give our mind and body a chance to communicate instead of living in an imbalance. The imbalance of anxiety surging through your chest, only to fire the same anxiety in your mind. The imbalance of a pit in your stomach because you’ve only been talking at yourself for years and instead of compassion we escalate and begin to think of everything that is wrong. Not listening is a cyclical jumpstart of ideas that do nothing for you. Listening gives your body a chance to hear nothing but what’s going on inside, and to then have an opportunity to listen to the thoughts that come with a calm body instead of a frantic one.
Ironically, our entire being is something to be enjoyed and utilized for peace and creation. We ourselves our creation, and have every capacity to reverse that energy inside us and create for ourselves. The block here is overthinking. Overdoing anything puts a separation in what we are trying to do with actually being able to do it. But with over-thinking, we are making existing exponentially more difficult for ourselves because it’s not a state we were ever supposed to live in.
I truly think our body, mind, and soul can give you everything you need. But the trick is letting those 3 things work with you and not work against them by trying to force thoughts, force feelings, and force sensations which is exactly what overthinking does. Listening is trusting, listening is letting yourself be, listening is letting things come to you, listening is letting things pass, listening is peace, listening is accessible, listening is readily available at anytime and all you have to do it nothing.
