How To Deal With The Past As An Over-Thinker
Relatability
How It Feels To Overthink About The Past
The past used to be a place I lived and dwelled in. When I lived there it was a collection of regretful questions. Why’d I do that, why didn't I do that, or why did I do it that way? All I was doing was reliving moments that don’t exist anymore and bullying myself in that moment as I tried to bring it back to the present moment.
Being stuck in the past is a big side effect of overthinking. I think chronic overthinking rarely involves overthinking about things that are good, because thinking about good or encouraging things leads to action or encouragement or grace to get you out of your head.
I know there’s a difference because when I think about something in the past involving a good memory I feel good inside. I feel that moment and I release it. When I’m overthinking about the past I find myself feeling anxious, confused, or angry at myself.
What Overthinking About The Past Is Doing To My Life
This way of thinking about my past self wasn’t helping me at all. I noticed I lived more in overthinking in a way that supported this idea that I should regret the past, instead of enjoying past memories.
It was a way to propel this overthinking habit of believing that I deserved to sit in a state of picking myself apart, that I must have done something wrong, or wishing so bad to be able to change something to make myself believe it would make me feel better today.
Interestingly enough, everything we do now is ultimately the past moments later so if I kept this up it would be a never ending cycle. Living in the past was robbing me of learning to work with my past to be able to live and learn in the present. With this in mind, I wanted to view the past as a way to grow and understand and explore instead of a way to beat myself up.
Reflection
What Made Me Want To Change My View On My Past
I really believe there’s nothing you can do to miss where you’re supposed to be. The past can have this view surrounding it that can be one of regret; but the past can also be your greatest teacher and your greatest foundation for getting you to be the person you want to be.
The parts of my past that I view differently as I work to reframe my overthinking is how I’ve spoken to myself when thinking of the past. I think I’ve accepted this idea of the past being a place of regret instead of a place I can learn from. This way of thinking kept me very stagnant, almost like a ghost neglecting my current life and living in moments that were no longer there.
I admittedly felt a sense of guilt for my view on the past, because it made me feel like I wasn’t appreciating the life, the health, and the people in my life at this moment. Not only by living in the past, but my view on seeing the past as negative made me lose touch with the gratitude I needed for the present moment and disconnected me from the compassion I also needed to learn from mistakes.
What I Thought About To Make Changes In My View Of The Past
I see how my overthinking and living in past mistakes and even viewing my experiences as mistakes instead of learning experiences shaped how I viewed the past in a negative light instead of a kind one.
The past shows me where and how I’ve learned and redirected my life. The past is a moment in time that stands still and as I move forward, very similarly to how we make choices.
You make a decision and although you can change your mind, a decision is a moment in time where you choose a direction to go and move forward. The moment moved forward and the decision stayed where it was.
The only thing that moves forward from the past and from decisions you make is the knowledge you took from what you’ve learned.
Reinvention
What I Chose To Do With What I Learned About The Past
The past is a place to learn and move on from, not to live in and try to repair it or agonize over a move you made. The moments are gone and the only option is to move forward and continue to keep learning.
The past teaches us how to move forward. To move forward in decisions, emotions, thoughts, uncertainty, confusion. We have no choice, because moments are always moving forward and the present moment is what presents us with an opportunity to use the past to help us in the now.
How I Carried Out What I Learned About The Past
To stay stuck in the past is to be blind to all the moments and opportunities to live in the potential the past presented to you. The past isn’t bad, but it’s not a place to live it’s a collection of knowledge that helps being in the present moment possible.
The best way to use the past in your favor is to keep moving. Keeping moving and use your past self as your friend. If you don’t like who your past self is or what they’ve done, use who you are today as a way to bridge that gap between who you have been and who you are now.
Your past self did all they could with what they knew, and seeing a disconnect in who you are today and the best tells you that there has been growth and change and learning. In that wisdom is the power to give who you have been compassion, and let your past be your guide to continue fulfilling who you dream to be.
